


Six the al Ghul musical

by Soft_Huffelpuff_Boy2



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, F/M, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:08:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26983402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soft_Huffelpuff_Boy2/pseuds/Soft_Huffelpuff_Boy2
Summary: Basically the al Ghuls as six the musical (yes I know is my second work related to the musical but suck it up)Ra's - HenryDusan - Catherine of AragonNyssa - Anne BoleynTalia - Jane SeymourMara - Anna of ClevesDamian - Katherine HowardHeretic - Catherine ParrYeas Ra's fucked all of them but let's be real, he has done worse than that
Relationships: Ra's al Ghul/Everyone
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	Six the al Ghul musical

Dusan: Divorced.

Nyssa: Beheaded

Talia: Died. 

Mara: Divorced. 

Damian: Beheaded.

Heretic: Survived.

Dusan: And tonight, we are…  
All: Live!

Dusan: Listen up, let me tell you a story.

Nyssa: A story that you think you’ve heard before.

Talia: We know you know our names and our fame and our faces.

Mara: Know all about the glories and the disgraces.

Damian: I’m done ‘cause all this time,  
I’ve been just one word in a stupid rhyme.

Heretic: So I picked up a pen and a microphone.

All: History’s about to get overthrown.

Dusan: Divorced.

Nyssa: Beheaded.

Talia: Died.

Mara: Divorced.

Damian: Beheaded. 

Heretic: Survived.

All: But just for you tonight,  
We’re divorced, beheaded, live!  
Welcome to the show, to the historemix.   
Switching up the flow as we add the prefix.   
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives.  
Raising up the roof, till we hit the ceiling.  
Get ready for the truth that we’ll be revealing.  
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives…  
But now we’re  
Ex-wives. 

Dusan: All you ever hear and read about

Nyssa: Is our ex and the way it ended.

Talia: But a pair doesn’t beat a royal flush.

Mara: You’re gonna find out how he got unfriended.

Damian: Tonight, we’re gonna do ourselves justice.  
‘Cause we’re taking you to court.

Heretic: Every al Ghul Rose has its thorns,  
And you’re gonna hear ‘em live: in consort.

Dusan: Divorced.

Nyssa: Beheaded. 

Talia: Died.

Mara: Divorced.

Damian: Beheaded.

Heretic: Survived.

All: But just for you tonight,   
We’re divorced, beheaded, live!  
Welcome to the show, to the historemix;  
Switching up the flow as we add the prefix.  
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives.  
Dancing to the beat till the break of day, once  
We’re done, we’ll start again  
Like it’s the Renai-ssance.  
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives.   
But now we're

Dusan: Ex-Wives... 

All: Divorced.

Dusan: My name’s Dusan of the al Ghul  
Was married twenty-four years,  
I’m a paragon of royalty.  
My loyalty is to the Vatican,  
So if you try to dump me  
You won’t try that again.

All: Beheaded.

Nyssa: I’m that al Ghul girl, and I’m up next.  
See, I broke The League from the Mosque.  
Yeah, I’m that sexy.  
Why did I lose my head?  
Well, my sleeves may be green,  
But my lipstick’s red.

All: Died.

Talia: Talia Al ghul, the only one he truly loved. 

All but Talia: Rude.

Talia: When my son was newly born, I died.  
But I’m not what I seem  
Or am I?  
Stick around and you’ll suddenly see more. 

All: Divorced.

Mara: 'ana Mara al Ghul

All: Nem. 

Mara: When he saw my portrait, he was like—

All: Nem. 

Mara: But I didn’t look as good as I did in my pic.  
Funny how we all discuss that  
But never Ra’s little...

Damian: Prick up your ears, I’m the Al ghul  
Who lost his head.

All: Beheaded.

Damian: For my promiscuity outside of wed.  
Lock up your husbands, lock up your sons.  
D. Al ghul is here and the fun’s begun.

All: Survived.

Heretic: Five down, I’m the final one.  
I saw him to the end of his life.  
I’m the survivor, the Heretic.  
I bet you wanna know how we got this far.   
I said, I bet you wanna know we  
got this far.

All: Do you wanna know how we got this far?  
Then, welcome to the show, to the historemix;  
Switching up the flow as we add the prefix.  
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives.   
Turn the beat up, get this party buzzing.  
You want a queen bee, well, there’s half a dozen.  
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives.  
But now we’re  
Ex-wives.  
One, two, three, four, five, six!

Dusan: how are you doing tonight?

Nyssa: We said, how are you doing tonight?!

Talia: We are…

All: Six. 

Talia: And welcome to our divorced, beheaded live tour!

Damian: We’ve got a whole lot in store for you tonight.

Dusan: We’ve got riffs to ruffle your ruffs!  
Dusan riffs.

Heretic: Shimmys to shake up your Chemise.  
Damian: And a whole lot of history.

Heretic: Or as we like to call it… their-story.  
They all laugh.

Dusan: So obviously, you know who we are.

Damian: Please, no portraits.

Dusan: But give it up for our ladies in waiting!

Dusan motions to the ladies in waiting, also the band.

Nyssa: We've got Djin with the guitar.   
Djinn does a solo

Mara: Maps on the bass

Maps does a solo

Talia: And killing it on the keys, we've got Selina! 

Selina does a solo

Dusan: And with drums so sick they’ll give you gout, It’s Cass in the drums!   
Cass does a solo.

Mara: So you came here tonight to party with us old-school.

Talia: Really, really old-school… But we’re not here to have fun!

Damian: Uh-uh, we’ve got a serious score to settle.

Heretic: We’ve been in the shadow of one man for too long.

Nyssa: And we came here tonight to step back into the spotlight!

Damian: The problem is there’s—

All: Six

Damian: of us, and we know you’ve all got your favourite.

Dusan: Everyone always wants to know who’s the most important wife.

Mara: And they’ve been arguing about it for centuries.

Heretic: We’ve heard it all…

Dusan: “Who lasted the longest was the strongest.”

Nyssa: “The biggest sinner is obvs the winner.”

Talia: “Who had the son takes number one.”

Mara: “Who was most chased shall be first placed.”

Damian: “Most inglourious is victorious.”

Heretic: “The winning contestant was the most protest-ant.”

The others look at him in confusion.

Heretic: ...Protestant!

Dusan: But we came here tonight to answer your questions once and for all!

Nyssa: And tell ya whatcha want, whatcha really really want—  
...to know.

Talia: That’s right, we’re gonna help you figure out which one of us is–

Mara: The queen of the castle.

Talia: The rose amongst the thorns.

Damian: The Thomas Cromwell amongst the royal ministers between 1532 and 1540.  
Dusan: But how the purgatory are they going to choose their leading Al ghul?

Nyssa: Hold up! If this is going to be a fair competition, they’re gonna have to judge us on the one thing we’ve all got in common.

Talia: The one to take the crown should be the one who had the biggest,

Heretic: The firmest,

Dusan: The fullest

Mara: Load of B.S. to deal with from the man who put a ring on it.

Damian: So, Gotham, we’re going to hold a little contest for you.

Nyssa: And the rules are simple:

Heretic: The queen who was dealt the worst hand,

Talia: The queen with the most hardships to withstand,

Mara: The queen who everything didn’t really go as planned,

All: shall be the one to lead the band!

Dusan: So, what do you think Gotham, are you ready to choose your leading Al ghul?

Damian: We said, are you ready?!

All: Welcome to the show  
To the coronation  
Who will take the crown,  
Be the pop sensation?  
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives  
Six wives,  
Six wives,  
Six wives.

Dusan: But there’s only one you need to hear from tonight. Gotham, I’m about to win this competition. Cass, give me a beat.  
Cass gives him a beat.  
Dusan: So, since the day I arrived in the league, let’s just say my faith had been tested on more than one occasion. First things first, I was shipped off from Arabia on the night of my sweet sixteen to marry some prince called Ra's and I’m like “okay”. But then Ra's died, so naturally I’m imprisoned for seven years. Really helped with the grieving process, you know, but I’m still like, “okay.” But thank Allah they rescued me just in time to marry Ra's… my dead husband’s brother. Okay, so I’m thinking “bit weird”, but if you’d seen him back in the summer of ‘09. Let me tell you he was okay. So seven years later, we’re still trying for an heir. He’s trying really hard and I’m like “okay”, and he starts coming home late. “I was just out with my assasins!” But there’s lipstick on his ruff. And I’m like “okay”. Suddenly, he wants to annul our marriage, move some side chick into my palace and move me into a convent! Now, now, now, now, I just don’t think I’d look that good in a wimple, so I’m like “No way.”

Dusan: You must agree that, baby,  
In all the time I’ve been by your side,  
I’ve never lost control  
No matter how many times I knew you lied.  
Have my golden rule,  
Got to keep my cool.  
Yeah, baby.

All: You know he’s gotta keep his cool.

Dusan: And even though you’ve had your fun,  
Running around with some

All: Pretty, young thing.

Dusan: And even though you’ve had one son  
With someone who don’t own a  
Wedding ring.  
No matter what I heard,  
I didn’t say a word.  
No, baby.

All: You know he never said a word.

Dusan: I’ve put up with your

All: Sh...

Dusan: Like every single day.

All: Woah, woah.

Dusan: But now it’s time to

All: Shh,

Dusan: And listen when I say...  
You must think that I’m crazy,  
You wanna replace me, baby there’s

All: N-n-n-n-n-n-no way.

Dusan: If you think for a moment,  
I’d grant you annulment, just hold up there’s

All: N-n-n-n-n-n-no way.

Dusan: No way.  
No way.  
There’s

All: N-n-n-n-n-n-no way.

Dusan: No way.  
No way.  
There’s

All: N-n-n-n-n-n-no way.

Dusam: There’s no way.  
So you read a bible verse that I’m cursed ‘cause I was your brother’s wife,  
You say it’s a pity ‘cause quoting leviticus  
I’ll end up kiddy-less all my life.  
Well, daddy, weren’t you there  
When I gave birth to Mary?  
Oh, you don’t remember?

All: Daughters are so easy to forget.

Dusam: You’re just so full of  
All: Sh...

Dusan: Must think I’m naive.  
All: Woah, woah.

Dusan: I won’t back down,  
Won’t

All: Shh,

Dusan: And no, I’ll never leave  
You must think that I’m crazy,  
You wanna replace me, baby there’s

All: N-n-n-n-n-n-no way.

Dusan: If you thought it’d be funny  
To send me to a nunnery, honey, there’s

All: No way.

Dusan: No way.  
No way.  
There’s

All: N-n-n-n-n-n-no way.

Dusan: No way.  
No way.  
There’s

All: N-n-n-n-n-n-no way.

Dusan: There’s no way.  
Let’s go, guys! 

All: Woo!

Dusan: Hey, give it up for Cass on the drums!   
Dusan: You’ve got me down on my knees,  
Please tell me what you think I’ve done wrong.  
Been humble, been loyal,  
I’ve tried to swallow my pride all along.  
If you could just explain a single thing I’ve done to ‘cause you pain,  
I’ll go…  
No?  
You’ve got nothing to say?  
I’m not going away,  
There’s no way.  
You must think that I’m crazy,  
You wanna replace me, baby there’s

All: N-n-n-n-n-n-no way.

Dusan: You made me your wife,  
So I’ll be queen till the end of my life!

All: N-n-n-n-n-n-no way.

Dusan: N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-no—

All: No way.

Dusan: N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-no—

All: No way.

Dusan: N-n-n-n-n-no, no no no no, no, no way.

All: No way.

Dusan: No way.  
There’s

All: N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-no way.   
There’s no way!

Dusan: So clearly, I had the most to deal with from the king. And I hit that top C so you know, like 'ayn hu my crown? min fadlik.

Damian: Hang on a sec. Who was that other one?

Dusan: I think you’re thinking of me!

Talia: No, there was definitely a really important one.

Dusan: Yeah, still me!

Heretic: Yeah. I think she, like, overlapped with you.

Mara: Yeah, the really important, controversial one that people actually care about.

Talia: Yeah. You know…  
The one you’ve been waiting for.

All: The one you’ve been waiting for.  
Damian: The mystery,

Mara: The one who changed history.  
All: History,

Mara: The one who changed history, mystery,

All: The temptress.

Dusan: The one with the plan,

The plan to steal the man! 

All: Nyssa!

Heretic: The one who chased the king,

Talia: But paid the price with a swordsman’s swing.

All: Will she be the one to win?  
Nyssa al Ghul, Nyssa al Ghul, Nyssa al Ghul, Nyssa al Ghul, Nyssa al Ghul, Nyssa al Ghul, Nyssa al Ghul!

Nyssa: What? Oh… sorry.

She points to Maps and she gives her a beat.

Nyssa: Grew up in Russia,  
Da da privet.  
Life was a chore so

All: She set sail.

Nyssa: 1722,  
Came straight to the SA  
All the arab's dudes, lame.

All: Epic fail.

Nyssa: I wanna dance and sing.

All: Politics?

Nyssa: Not my thing.  
But then I met the king.  
And soon my mommy said,  
“You should try and get ahead.”  
He wanted me,  
Obviously.  
Kept messaging me, like, everyday.  
Couldn’t be better,  
Then he sent me a letter, and  
Who am I kidding?  
I was готов съесть. 

All: Ooh.

Nyssa: Sent a reply,

All: Ooh.

Nyssa: Just saying ‘Hi’,

All: Ooh.

Nyssa: You’re a nice guy.  
I’ll think about it, maybe,  
XO, baby.

All: Uh oh!

Nyssa: Here we go.

All: You sent him kisses!

Nyssa: I didn’t know I would move in with his missus!

All: What?

Nyssa: Get a life!

All: You’re living with his spouse.

Nyssa: Like, what was I meant to do?  
Sorry, not sorry ‘bout what I said.  
I'm just trying to have some fun.  
Don’t worry, don’t worry,  
Don’t lose your head.  
I didn’t mean to hurt anyone.   
LOL,  
Say ‘oh well’,   
Or go to hell.  
I’m sorry, not sorry, ‘bout what I said,  
Don’t lose your head.  
Three in the bed,  
And the little one said,  
“If you wanna be wed,  
Make up your mind.”  
Him or me, chum.  
Don’t wanna be some girl in a threesome.  
Are you blind?  
Don’t be bitter,

All: Ooh.

Nyssa: ‘Cause I’m fitter.

All: Ooh.

Nyssa: Why hasn’t it hit him?  
He doesn’t wanna bang you,  
Somebody hang you. 

All: Uh oh!

Nyssa: Here we go.

All: Your comment went viral.

Nyssa: I didn’t really mean it, but rumours spiral.

All: Wow, Nyss, way to make the country hate you.

Nyssa: Mate, what was I meant to do?  
Sorry, not sorry ‘bout what I said.  
I’m just trying to have some fun.  
Don’t worry, don’t worry,  
Don’t lose your head.  
I didn’t mean to hurt anyone.  
LOL,  
Say ‘oh well’,  
Or go to hell.  
Sorry, not sorry, ‘bout what I said,  
Don’t lose your head.  
Tried to elope,  
But the pope said nope.  
Our only hope was

All: Ra's al Ghul.

Nyssa: He got a promotion,  
‘Caused a commotion,  
Set in motion  
The M of A. 

All: The rules

Nyssa: Were so outdated,  
Us two wanted to get x-rated.

All: Soon, excommunicated!

Nyssa: Everybody chill, it’s totes God’s will.  
“Bridal Chorus” by Wagner plays in a shortened, more rock version. It is interrupted by Nyssa saying:

Nyssa: Hold up, let me tell you how it went down.  
Ra’s out every night on the town,   
Just sleeping around, like,  
What the hell?  
If that’s how it’s gonna be,  
Maybe I’ll flirt with a guy or three  
Just to make him jel.  
Ra's finds out and he goes mental.  
He screams and shouts, like,  
So judgemental.  
“You damned witch,"  
Mate, Just shut up.  
I wouldn’t be such a bitch  
If you could get it up.

All: Uh oh!

Nyssa: Here we go.

All: Is that what you said? 

Nyssa: And now, he’s going ‘round like, “Off with her head!”

All: No...

Nyssa: Yeah, I’m pretty sure he means it.

All: Seems it.

Nyssa: What was I meant to do?

All: What was she meant to do?

Nyssa: Like, was I meant to do?

All: What was she meant to do?

Nyssa: No, but what was I meant to do?

All: What was she meant to do?

Nyssa: No, guys, seriously, he’s actually gonna chop my head off! I mean, I guess he must’ve really liked my head… 5, 6, 7, 8!  
Nyssa: Sorry, not sorry ‘bout what I said.  
I’m just trying to have some fun.  
Don’t worry, don’t worry,  
Don’t lose your head!  
I didn’t mean to hurt anyone. 

All: LOL,  
Say ‘oh well’,  
Or go to—

Nyssa:—Just go to Hell!  
Sorry, not sorry ‘bout what I said.

All: Sorry, not sorry ‘bout what she said.

Nyssa: Sorry, not sorry, ‘bout what I said!  
Don’t lose your head!

Nyssa: So yeah. What a weekend.

Damian: Wait, did you actually die?

Nyssa: Yeah, it was so extra. Anyway, I’m obvs the winner, so I think I’ll do another solo. My next song is one I wrote about the moment I found out Dusan al Ghul had tragically died. It’s called “Wearing Yellow to a Funeral”. Please sing along if you know the words.

Nyssa: Dusan was a massive-  
They all give a loud uproar.

Mara: Who decided you were the winner? 

Heretic: She wants another turn?

Dusan: Over my dead body!

Talia: Anyways, I'm pretty sure it’s my turn next.

Mara: You! Bitch, please!

Heretic: Are you joking?!

Damian: Yeah, weren’t you the one he truly loved?

Dusan: Oh yeah, didn’t you give him the son he so desperately wanted?

Nyssa: Yeah, like, I had a daughter and he literally chopped my head off.

Talia: Yeah, I know. I was lucky in so many ways. Well, I had a beautiful baby boy and Henry got his heir to the throne, so of course I was going to be the one he truly loved. But you know, if Damian had turned out to be a little baby Daniela, well, I know that his love wouldn’t have lasted.

Nyssa: Wow, yeah, what a stressful situation. I’ve never had anything similar happen.

Dusan: Yeah, babe, do you have any idea?

Talia: Okay okay, look, you’re right. You’re so right! You guys kicked some major al Ghul ass! And that’s what everyone wants to hear about. You know, like, girl power, woo! What I mean to say is that, I wouldn’t do any of that. Instead, I stood by him. It didn’t matter how many stupid things he did. I was there, by his side. And that’s… not because I was weak or scared. It’s because… I loved him. So, Ra's…  
You’ve got a good heart,  
But I know it changes.  
A restless tide, untameable.  
You came my way, and I knew a storm could come too.  
You’d lift me high or let me fall.  
But I took your hand,  
Promise I’d withstand any blaze you blew my way.  
‘Cause something inside, it solidified.


End file.
